Humorous Goodbye Quotes

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

- Jerome K Jerome


The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.

- Woody Allen


My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

- Rita Rudner


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

- Steven Weinberg


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

- Lily Tomlin


I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming.

- A. A. Attanasio


Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

- Groucho Marx


Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.

- Leslie Nielsen


She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.

- George Bernard Shaw


You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.

- E.A. Gilliam Subject: Funny


In Los Angeles they don’t throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

- Woody Allen


I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

- Douglas Adams


What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold my purse’.

- Francois Morency


They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.

- Bob Monkhouse

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